This is a guest post written by the co-owner of Ern Malley’s bar in Adelaide, South Australia. Enjoy!
Adelaide’s local media (what there is of it) was recently awash with articles about our strong showing on the annual World’s Most Liveable Cities ranking, with our quaint town coming in at #11. Even our fair and handsome leader was quick to comment on the feat, saying that our 11th place finish “reinforces what most of us already know – that Adelaide enjoys a lifestyle that is the envy of the world.” At least he was honest enough to say “most” and not “all”.
Every year this ranking comes out and every year I tear my hair out at the sheer philosophical and political naiveté of the discussions that surround it. Should we not, at some point, ask ourselves who is behind this ranking, and how and why they create it?
The World’s Most Liveable Cities Index is a creation of the Economist – a Neo-liberal, free market media organisation who, by their own admission, has created the index for governments, businesses and financial firms that are contemplating global expansions, worker relocations or market entry strategies. Read that again. It’s not for us. It’s not being judged by anyone who has any idea of what it is actually like living here; the nuanced challenges we face, or even decided for our own benefit. It is an index for executives of multinational banks to decide where they should set up their next Indo-Pacific headquarters so that they can attract the “best and brightest” (read: highly educated in the ability of extracting as much wealth from local governments and customers as possible). And we, and our fearless leader, applaud ourselves for being near the top of this farce?
Perhaps we should let Pornhub rank our schools. Let the wolves guard over our sheep, let Russell Brand chaperone the dance.
We at Ern Malley might start our own list of World’s Most Livable Cities, but instead of being so closed minded as to just include cities that currently exist, also include cities of the past. It would be nice if our politicians didn’t just compare themselves, and how well they are doing as stewards of this place, with their neo-liberal contemporaries, but also with their forebears. What good is it to live in one of the most “liveable cities” in the world today if you can’t afford a home, you hate your job, everyone just wants to *&#@ around and then get divorced, you don’t know your neighbours or your doctor or the name of the person who is committing you to a psychiatric exam, the Crows can’t make finals and the Power can’t win one, all the interesting, ambitious young people leave, every festival you attend is just another micro-managed – money printing scheme not an organic, charity-fueled celebration of community, if every new building has come out of a catalogue, no one is having children, every time you try and walk to the shops you almost get run over, the sewage prices keep increasing because your idiotic, self-serving government keeps increasing housing supply by building infrastructure and creating planning codes that can only result in financially unsustainable, soul destroying suburban sprawl, and the education system produces graduates who DON’T QUESTION LIVEABILITY INDEXES!
Liveable my arse. I might not even put Adelaide in 2024 in the Top 50 Most Liveable Adelaides of All Time™ (unless of course you get to fly Economist Class™, in which case I’m sure you’re having a grand ol’ time).
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